The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back.
In our best moments, we are that person for another.
DRAWING ON A STRONG GROUNDING in interpersonal neurobiology, narrative therapy, and the science of resilience, I help couples explore ways of maintaining, invigorating, and re-inventing their partnerships across the lifespan, discovering the unique, creative adaptations that are going to work for them, to allow both individuals to thrive.
I believe people can navigate challenging, sometimes emotionally fraught, terrain as a couple more harmoniously when they understand their own brain-heart-gut dialogue and the ways it plays out in relationships.
One of the draws to couples therapy for me is the chance to provide an affirmative, creative, strengths-based, sex-positive, reflective space for couples. Same-sex, heterosexual, and mixed-orientation couples are all welcome. In addition to ongoing couples therapy, I offer short-term, solutions-focused marital coaching (one to three meetings) for couples exploring consensual nonmonogamy. Contact me if you want to schedule a coaching session.
Exploring Consensual Nonmonogamy (The Psychotherapy Networker, May/June 2023)
The Divorce Announcement: A Conscious Approach to Moving Forward (The Psychotherapy Networker, January/February 2023)
Love Scrabble (The Psychotherapy Networker, November/December 2022)
Two Open Marriages in One Small Room (The New York Times (Modern Love column and podcast), January 2020).
My memoir, The Maps They Gave Us: One Marriage, Reimagined, is forthcoming from Black Lawrence Press in February 2025.