The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back.
In our best moments, we are that person for another.
MARIA POPOVA
What’s my
Framework?
DRAWING ON A STRONG GROUNDING in relational neurobiology, narrative therapy, and the science of resilience, I help people in all forms of relationships explore ways of maintaining, invigorating, and re-inventing their bonds across the lifespan, discovering the unique improvisations and creative adaptations that are going to work for them, to allow both individuals to thrive.
I believe people can navigate challenging, sometimes emotionally fraught, terrain in relationships more harmoniously when they understand their own brain-heart-gut dialogue and the ways it plays out between people. Clear communication of feelings and needs, accurate listening, mutual attunement, and conflict resolution skills are all important areas for focus.
One of the draws to relationship therapy for me is the chance to provide an affirmative, creative, strengths-based, sex-positive, reflective space for clients. Same-sex, heterosexual, and mixed-orientation couples, as well as folks in other unconventional relationship forms, are all welcome.
Publications
Exploring Consensual Nonmonogamy (The Psychotherapy Networker, May/June 2023)
The Divorce Announcement: A Conscious Approach to Moving Forward (The Psychotherapy Networker, January/February 2023)
Two Open Marriages in One Small Room (The New York Times (Modern Love column and podcast), January 2020).
My memoir, The Maps They Gave Us: One Marriage Reimagined, is available from Black Lawrence Press.