In this culture many men are socialized to be rugged individualists, to be leaders and good providers, to be objective, even stoic, in the face of hardship, loss, and adversity. But this cultural training–at which we can excel, bringing us admiration from the outside world–can backfire. Sometimes men who are the best fathers, partners, breadwinners, bosses, and community leaders find that they feel empty inside, stressed and overwhelmed, and very lonely. They lose sight of themselves. [And be forewarned: if you decide to work with me and you haven’t had a recent annual physical, that will be part of our first discussion.]
As men grow older, this ‘losing sight’ of themselves can lead to depression, anxiety, feelings of emptiness, and other serious health problems.
Psychotherapy can be useful for men of all ages and all sexual orientations by helping us to pay attention to our thoughts, feelings, bodies, and relationships in a more focused and intentional way. It can help us reclaim a sense of aliveness, purpose, and authenticity. We can become the men we want to be, independent of unrealistic family and community expectations and damaging cultural imperatives.
Above and beyond paying attention to our bodies and being more attuned to our feelings, men need to explore important existential questions:
What is a good man? What is a good partner and father? What are my beliefs about a good life? How am I to live authentically?
Drawing on the fields of interpersonal biology, mindfulness practices, feminist and gender studies, as well as my own personal journey and reading and searching, I work with men to navigate their relationships–with themselves, their family, friends, and their co-workers–in a way that they remain emotionally alert.
True to the person they want to be.